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Kerala Goodkin's avatar

I appreciate this perspective on a topic that has certainly been a central source of conflict in our home. I think what we don’t talk enough about is the decline of our neighborhood communities and the parallel decline of unstructured free play. Filling our children’s cups, so to speak, has become all about driving our kids to structured activities, which unfortunately can deplete our own cups and also doesn’t teach our kids how to autonomously engage in creative free play during the hours that they’re home.

My 8yo son has recently found a rare group of kids whose parents let them run and bike all over the neighborhood. Guess what? He now often opts to skip his computer time so he can go climb trees and play hide-and-seek. As parents, I believe the single best way to decrease tech overuse is to foster vibrant communities that naturally give rise to unstructured free play opportunities with other children (that require no planning or chauffeuring on our end). Easier said than done, of course, but it would ultimately lighten our load, too!

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Emily Edlynn's avatar

YES YES YES!! I agree that kids would often opt for the social non-screen activity but we have become so silo-ed in our communities. Parents need to band together to encourage this free play (which may mean turning down their own anxiety in many cases). As the weather has finally warmed up here in the Midwest and my youngest can handle more independence, I'm hopeful for a summer of bike riding with friends around the neighborhood. Thank you for your thoughts!

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Jennifer L.W. Fink's avatar

I want to shout this from the rooftops, & I wish *you were getting national & international attention to spread this msg. The voices that are most amplified right now are too-focused on the tech, in my opinion (& experience). What you are describing WORKS, is grounded in good theory & research, and FEELS BETTER/is more pleasant for both parents & kids. I know; I have lived it.

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Emily Edlynn's avatar

Thank you for your endorsement, Jen! I also wish this type of messaging had more oxygen in the media but, unfortunately, fear-based messaging simply gets more attention. Thank you so much for reading and being one of the voices of reason in the parenting world!

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Sue Atkins's avatar

Love your post about breaking the loop and exploring curiosity, communication, or connection for a more balanced way to think about technology

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Emily Edlynn's avatar

Thank you so much Sue!

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Jamie Lynn Tatera's avatar

Emily, I love this. It is so true that technology over use is often a symptom of an unmet need. And getting curious about what those needs are and how we can help to support kids in getting those needs met will decrease the compulsion to misuse technology. This is the conversation that we need to be having!!

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Emily Edlynn's avatar

Thank you Jamie -- we can do our best to have these conversations in our corners of the internet and real world and hope it spreads!

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Kathryn Barbash, PsyD's avatar

Yes, yes, yes! That is my articulate agreement with all that you present here, Emily :)

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Emily Edlynn's avatar

Thank you Kathryn!

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